Recently my 8 years daughter sms-ed me reporting that she is now ‘rich’. I asked how and how rich? Layyin then told me that she had just managed to sell a fridge’s freezer-load of es-lilin (homeade ice cream) to neighbours and friends. She made ‘profit’ of and became richer by Rp.25,000!
I wanted to ask her what is the cost and whether she has ‘paid’ our maid for helping her out in making the ice cream?! But, I figured it would spoiled her thrill.
I instead asked what she gonna with the money. She replied ‘save; and when its a lot, I can go to Bali with daddy and mummy’ – I smiled and could not say a word…
This whole thing was my wife’s idea. She herself started even much younger in managing money and run a business. Her parents were true entrepreneurs and a disciplined parent when it comes to money. So, its kind of a deja vu for her.
Is this good for our daughter? Is teaching a kid early in ‘holding’ money necessarily bad?
I think not. Its a good thing in fact.
What is bad is when parents give money for young kids to spend; often as ‘pocket money’ to buy candy, ice cream (like my kid’s customers friends; well, someone has to buy right?! :)), barbie’s stickers, power rangers toys, and more.
That will definitely implant consumerism to our children permanently.
A book Born to Buy by Juliet B. Schor, vividly exploited this topic. How parents are actually voluntarily and consistently teach their children to buy, to consume and spend – perhaps contrary to our good intention. But, kids learn differently; and they absorb quickly what their parents do, either good things or otherwise.
Taking kids shopping or to the mall over the weekends, for instance, is also part of that ‘learning’ technique. When we parents use credit card to pay monthly groceries or buy new clothes, our kids are actually observing and taking note.
What they see is that spending is easy; my parents has loads of money to spend. So, next time they are in shopping mall or supermarket, they will just take stuffs from the shelf, or whenever shopping or buying opportunities occur, they will simply ask, or cry of, or scream at – even to the things that we thought and insist not necessary to them. But that is our words, not our action.
This is perhaps the most important lesson on teaching kids to be frugal, to save.
Have I practiced this to my entrepreneurial daughter?
Well, yes and no. Previously, before reading this book and aware of this grave mistake, I was as ignorant as anyone else too. I take them to monthly shopping, teach them how to spend; even when they are babies.
Now, that my wife and I aware of this, we are starting to teach frugal values and lifestyle to them. And we now try to avoid taking our three kids shopping or to shopping malls, whenever possible.
Another way to unlearn, I guess, is by teaching them another side of the coin; from spending to earning or saving. Teaching them to earn and value money is probably as valuable as not teaching them spending or consumerism.
After all, consumerism or frugality actually runs in the family. Its just how and which one we are giving a chance to thrive.
Originally published on luqyantamanni.wordpress.com, June 11, 2008: view original.
